Author: Vincent M. Cramer and Priscilla H. Douglas
Published: 5/1/2006
In the current knowledge-economy, what you say, how you say it, and whether others listen may be the critical determinants of personal achievement and career advancement. For knowledge-workers, Conversational Competence is the X-factor in the equation of success and career fulfillment.
Not to Be Confused With the Gift-of-Gab
Conversational Competence is the ability to engage in meaningful dialogue that is experienced by others as interesting and pertinent. To be conversationally competent, a person must have the capacity to engage and converse with a diversity of individuals, inside and outside the corporation, including virtual settings. A competent conversationalist is like a professional singer who has a broad vocal range. Conversational competence has its own range of octaves in the form of social, personal and business acumen.
Taking liberty with the words of Justice Potter Stewart, when it comes to conversational competence each of us can say, “I know it when I see it.” A competent conversationalist engages people in much the same way that a great singer captivates an audience. They are distinct from talkative individuals because they have the capacity to discuss their subject matter in ways that fascinate others. Establishing a personal connection is critical, for it will foment personal recognition. The requisite skills to be in this proficient group can be developed and the techniques can be learned.
A Competence of Critical Importance
Corporations competing in the knowledge-economy need employees with expansive skills and competencies. Those having the greatest impact, achieving the most success and receiving the greatest recognition will be the competent conversationalists. They will be recognized for generating fresh ideas for the corporation’s products, services and strategies.
By contrast, lacking conversational competence will manifest itself in many measurable ways. You may not get the promotion you desire, and feel you deserve. Your superiors may be dismissive of your ideas and insights. You may feel ignored in the communication dynamics of the organization, evidenced by your lack of inclusion on key discussions and decisions. You may “take it personally” and erroneously conclude that you have failed to create affiliations or that you lack political savvy.
Are You Interested in Being Interesting?
To have meaningful and engaging conversations requires having something meaningful to say. To determine whether or not your conversational contribution is meaningful and engaging, you must assess its Interest Quotient from the listener’s perspective.
The Interest Quotient of a conversation is measured by:
- Context—Pertinent topics to stimulate the give-and-take of the participants.
- Continuity—Sustaining conversational freshness and energy.
- Connectivity—Stimulation of participation and contribution.
- Closure—Junctures that branch out to fresh ideas, interesting themes and unique concepts.
If you are to be interesting, you must have interests; they must be interesting to others; and you must be interesting when you discuss them. Everyone has interests, but competent conversationalists do something with theirs.’ Their interests have the capacity to spark curiosity and ignite passion in others. Competent conversationalists do not simply follow their passion; they allow their passion to pull them in unknown directions and tangents. The process is truly transformational.
Conversational competence is not exclusionary. Your current circle of connections containing family, friends and colleagues remains intact while you expand your universe of circles. Having the “ability to engage in meaningful dialogue that is viewed by others as interesting and pertinent” will enable you to achieve your goals.
Your interest(s) can morph you into an interesting person and transform you into a person of interest. In “corporate speak” that means a person that has the personal qualities, social presence and business acumen that are valued in the organization. Such individuals are involved, valued and advanced. The following example describes such an individual.
Although he was a high school student in the 1980’s, Michael was very interested in Bob Dylan, a cultural icon of the 60’s. As much as he enjoyed the music and the lyrics of this legendary artist, Michael was limited in his appreciation of Dylan’s work. He lacked the requisite perspective and insight. To understand Bob Dylan, Michael needed to understand the 60’s. His passion for Dylan pulled him into that era, where he immersed himself in the Civil Rights Movement, Vietnam, Martin Luther King and Richard Nixon. Michael traveled the road from interested to interesting. Today, he is comfortable in a myriad of conversational settings because he is interesting and he has the capacity to relate to what is interesting to others. He may not come in contact with many people who care to discuss Bob Dylan, but coming of age in the 80’s Michael can easily relate to every “child of the sixties” who is now over sixty.
The Levels of Conversational Competence
Conversational competence is not a simple matter of learning how to speak in public or schmooze at a corporate function. There are three levels of conversational competence - Low, Mid and High, each having its particular language, perspective and behavior. Each level is a prerequisite for advancement to the next strata. A novice with Low conversational competence can create a meaningful and interesting conversation, but it will not generate its own energy. Beginners lack the skill and finesse to manage the complexities of give-and-take. They tend to lose the linkage of their inputs to others in the group. To improve, they must be very attentive to others and focus on what they say and how they react to inputs, ideas and provocations. Connect-and-build —make a conscious effort to draw them into the conversation, ensuring that it is collegial and collaborative. Also, be vigilant that you continue to be drawn into their conversational themes. Ensure that there is give-and-take.
At the Mid level, you must expand your vocabulary, enhance your style and develop insight to the many cultures that you will encounter. Those “cultures” are collegial, social, ethnic and corporate. For example, to be conversationally competent in a corporate culture that is higher than your current status, you must develop a level of business acumen that is at the conversational depth and comprehension of the people with whom you will engage. At this level, you must hold up your end of the conversation with ease and competence. This may be difficult at first, especially if your conversational compatriots are above you in the organizational hierarchy.
Individuals possessing high conversational competence are viewed as thought leaders, idea generators and engaging collaborators, having wide interests or deep expertise. They seem to make their topics come to life. Others feel enriched and enlivened with their tips, ideas or insights. Reaching the High level of conversational competence, you will possess the skills and the capacity to lead. You can introduce new topics and redirect topics under discussion in order to increase interest and provoke participation. In addition to the hard skills you employ, you may acquire the skills and develop the confidence to employ the subtleties of humor and repartee.
The true measure of a conversationally competent person is that others have high expectations of them. When you are conversationally competent, you will be encouraged to lead and direct the conversational dynamics in order to increase interest and provoke participation. The reason for this encouragement may not be obvious because it is very self-serving — of the others. They will encourage you because your skills can maximize their participation and facilitate their contributions.
As your conversational competence improves, your goals and expectations become more achievable. Advancing to higher levels of conversational competence, you will make great strides toward the professional success and personal fulfillment that you desire. Whether it is a corporate executive, community leader or an influential follower, your conversational competence will be the vehicle that will take you to your destination.
The X-Factor of success and fulfillment now has nomenclature — Conversational Competence.
Vincent M. Cramer is the author of Cramer’s Cube. He is also the founder of Winchester Consulting Group, an Organizational Development and Training company specializing in the confluence of collaboration, innovation and diversity. www.cramerscube.com
Priscilla H. Douglas is the founder and principal of PHDouglas & Associates. www.phdouglasassoc.com
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